I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
