...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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