Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
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Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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