Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
