This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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