need another drink. this is the easiest way
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
