They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
