They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
