Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry about my life...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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