After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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