You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
