Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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