dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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