Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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