ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
