Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
