The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
