Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize