I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
