I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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