talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
