You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
