I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
