I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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