that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
