Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
