a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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