guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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