Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
