FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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