Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
