I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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