Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize