I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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