took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
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He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
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At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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