his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
