Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
