Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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