Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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