he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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