It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
