Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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