Non-Jews are for practice
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
