I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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