A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
