you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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