i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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