My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize