Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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