Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize