Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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