Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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