Is it normal to miss your booty call?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
