yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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