Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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