Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
