I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
