Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
