Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
