so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
