my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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