i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
