if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
