his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
