you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
