You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
