I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
