Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
